Owen's Birth Story

Owen's Birth Story

To say we were ready for Owen would be an understatement. All the bedding, clothing, and carpets had been washed. I even had the nursery ready to go (mostly). Being that it was summer, I wasn't teaching nor were we remodeling! I could kick up my feet up and relax without a tinge of guilt. I indulged a significant amount on the daybed outside watching Emily and Mary play and explore. I remember from when I was pregnant with Emily my mom saying "Babies are easier to take care of in the belly than out!". I had learned twice that she was right. So, I enjoyed reading back issues from The Sun magazine and being present with the girls.

I thought Owen would arrive in mid June, but as July 20th rolled around I began to wonder if I was even pregnant. Just kidding! My swollen feet, lack of sleep, and giant body reminded me every second that I was. Even though it was summer, I still checked my school email daily. I learned from our principal that tragedy had struck the family of two of my students. On July 23rd, I attended a funeral for the mother, father, and grandmother. Ryan stayed home with the girls, and I went alone. I was obviously overwhelmed with grief for the four children who had been orphaned. I was relieved to have time to myself and to process the tragedy. After the service, I went to Fred Meyers to get fresh fruit and a hippy pizza. I called my dad and caught up too. Once I got home, it was almost nine and I hadn't eaten dinner yet. I popped in the pizza and sat down to relax and spend some time with Ryan. I got up for a third piece of pizza, don't judge, and felt an amazing amount of pressure. I told Ryan how odd it felt, and not a second later my water broke. Of course I wasn't sure at first, but I received confirmation once I headed to the bathroom. Ryan promptly sprung into action and started filling the tub. He also laid out the birth kit. I contacted Pita and Mary. Both said they were headed over even though contractions hadn't started yet. I was reluctant to have the midwives come so soon, but I also didn't have the energy to convince them otherwise.  I was happy I didn't.

Like I said, we were ready for Owen to come. Ryan had installed the hardware for filling up the birth tub weeks before. I had all my clothing (pre, during, and post labor) already laid out and ready to go. This level of preparation is significant to mention only because of our previous two births. This also meant that Ryan had nothing to do. He was there to help me through each contraction, but Ryan works well in high intensity situations. He shines while saving the day. This wasn't needed. He relaxed on the bed until the contractions were too intense to manage on my own. He was in the trenches with me for only a few minutes as Owen's birth was quick: 2 hours and 55 minutes quick. I only remember thinking that the contractions weren't strong enough for a birth any time soon, and that our midwife team was much too early. Mary sat at my writing desk doing some paperwork while Pita and Patricia, midwife in training, talked and laughed on the chair next to the birth tub. Once they stopped recording my contractions, I knew we were getting closer to a birth. I had two really intense contractions, that I remember, before I pushed twice and Owen was born. During those two contractions, I buried my nose into Ryan's chest and breathed deeply through each wave. When it was time to push, we got work done. It was quick and amazing. We didn't know the sex  until the birth, and it was a wonderful surprise.  He was perfect in every way.

Owen weighed in at 8lbs and 4 ounces. Emily was 6 lbs and Mary was 6 lbs 12 ounces. Thanks, dude:-). To be honest, the labor wasn't any more difficult, but the pregnancy was. He nursed right away and continues to be an amazingly happy boy. We love you, Owen. 

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No Sew Teepee!

While cruising on Pinterest, I realized I was late to the teepee party. With Emily at the perfect "let's build a fort" age, I decided to fulfill one of my own little dreams: a girly teepee. (I also needed something to fill that space in our living room.) Everyone wins!


I got the party started by picking up six garden sticks (5 feet) at Home Depot for about $2.50 each. So cheap. I wish they were a little bit taller... I wish I was a baller. Sorry, I had to:-). But seriously, I do wish they were about a foot taller, but it's good for the girls. Emily can stand up in the teepee, and that is most important.

I then dug out some fabric from my ever growing stash. I used three yards of cream duck cloth. I was dreading the moment that came next: drilling a hole in each pole. Since every room in my house contains some sort of power tool, I went on a drill hunt. I'm still not sure I used the correct attachment, but nothing caught on fire (although there was some smoke), and I got the job done. I measured eight inches from the end of each pole and made a mark. I then went to town on drilling the holes to run the twine.





Once the holes were drilled, I strung them all together with twine. This was a little tricky, but just keep arranging the sticks until you have a teepee shape. I wanted a girly teepee, so pink ribbon came next. I brought the teepee inside and used the ribbon to secure the sticks (not through the holes).

Once the frame was set, I simply draped the duck cloth over the sticks. I was going to call it a day, but I saw a Michael Miller floral fabric screaming to be made into bows to hold it all together. I cut two slits in the cream duck cloth, cut a strip of floral fabric, and I tied a bow (repeat). I'm happy I completed this extra step as it adds a little something extra, I can make matching pillows to throw in there, and it securely holds the duck cloth in place and helps to stabilize the teepee. I also knew Emily would appreciate the bows- so cute.

The project took a total of 30 minutes! Emily loves it, and Mary hung out in there for a while too. It also fills a formerly lonely space with some personality. Poor Ryan has a floral accented teepee in his family room; I'm pretty sure he is getting used to these types of shenanigans. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments section!

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Winner!

Seriously winning, ya'll. I never win anything. Never. That all changed early this week when Marisa from Re-Bloom emailed me with a free consultation for our new home. Maybe I never win because I never enter "contests"... something to consider.

Re-Bloom is all about making what you already have work for you and your family. With a new house that is twice the size of our old house, I was/am struggling with how to decorate. It's a bummer because we are also still putting up trim and gearing up for a kitchen remodel. Such is life with Ryan.

Marisa was so kind and a great listener. (She even rocked Mary to sleep!) I think I talked the entire time, but I have sooo many ideas, and she was kind enough to listen patiently. It's also important to me that Ryan likes what is going on in our house, and he is opinionated; who knew? Long story short, Marisa already sent me some ideas for a table, and she had some great ideas for our long, weird bedroom. I'm looking forward to finding some temporary dividers for that space... any ideas?

So, if you want a super creative, kind, and cool person to help you with your home, wardrobe, or business, look into Re-Bloom. I just love the idea of using what you have in different ways. You can find her blog here.

Side note: Chelsea and I went to an amazing estate sale last night. I scored some potted plants and the above piece of art. I need to pick up a fern for that plant stand. Progress, people!

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Mary Beth

She is the mostest! 

Weighing in at six pounds 12 ounces. 

Born April 4, 2013 at 10:17 AM

See below for the good stuff... or skip if you don't like birth stories from a hippie point of view.

 

I believe with my whole heart in natural birth whenever possible. When I say "natural" I mean no medication. Just you and your birth team. My birth team was Ryan, Mary, and Pita. I feel so lucky to have met these three people:-). Mary and Pita were our midwives with Emily as well. When we found out we were prego again, we knew we needed to get hold of these ladies ASAP.

 

I thought I was going into labor the night before it actually happened. I was on spring break, and we had moved into our new place the weekend before. We also had a contractor coming in the morning to finish our hardwood floors. We seem to remodel when we have babies... not doing it a third time (the remodel, not the baby). So, when I woke up at 5 AM with contractions, I thought it best to not wake Ryan. I timed them instead. The contractions were kinda strong and 10 minutes a part. I thought I was just having some joint pain. This was a common sensation the second time around. However, the "joint pain" was fairly consistent. I decided to wake Ryan when they were eight minutes a part. Good thing too. The contraction were quickly 7 minutes, then six, then... you get the point. We called Mary.

 

Correction: Ryan called Mary while I called my mom to ask if we could have a baby in her living room. I laugh as I type this, because it sounds so crazy. I couldn't have a baby  in our new house because I wanted those floors finished ASAP. My mom said to come on over. I packed our bags, jumped in the shower, and prepped for having a baby (mentally). It's all  mental, folks.

 

With Emily in the back of the truck and our birth tub right beside her, Ryan hightailed it to my mom's house. My ma took Emily out to breakfast and to play while Ryan got set up. The night before I had bought the jammies for after labor so I put those in the wash. I started to have stronger contractions, but nothing wild. This labor was so manageable and dare I say... easy? I'm not sure why, but I didn't feel the contractions were strong enough to have the babe anytime soon, and I started to worry around 10AM that we had called Mary too soon. Not the case. As Mary, Pita, and their intern sat at my mom's dinning table chatting, I felt a different sensation with the contraction: my water had broke. I had a sudden feeling of panic and (what felt like a shout) said, "something is happening!". Mary rushed over in her calm way and told me my water had broke. I promptly replied, "What do I do?". Pita laughed and said, "Have a baby". These women are amazing. Birth is so normal and natural to them. I wonder if they ever panic?

 

Have a baby we did. Not one minute after my water broke I had to push. I stayed in the same position in the tub the entire 20 minutes I was in there. Within three minutes of pushing, Mary Beth was born. All I remember is Mary (our midwife, not the baby) telling Pita that the head was born, and then she talked me through the next push. It was an amazing moment. We didn't know we were having a girl, and all I could do was cry. I was so happy to have two beautiful girls. Mary Beth looks so  much like Emily. Emily is the best big sister. Ryan is getting used to lots of kisses, pony tails, and talk of all things girl. We couldn't be happier.

 

 

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Reading for Pleaure!

Hiya there! Since my last posting we: bought a new house, moved in, started another remodel, next day had a baby, unpacked (kinda), and have been enjoying all the newness in our new lives. (Baby post to follow.)

Oh, I also finished an amazing book from an amazing publisher via an amazing friend. I have not read anything for pleasure in a while. I almost forgot how to enjoy and not analyze every word. Here it is in all its glory: The Home-Maker by Dorothy Confield Fisher. Look into it immediatly. Not only is the content relevant, heart warming, and heart breaking all at the same time, it comes in a lovely package with beautiful end paper and a matching book mark... I mean seriously a luxury to read.

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On Marriage

“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.” 

-RAINER MARIA RILKE

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Mother's Day... Late

Oh, the difference a year makes. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. I mean seriously, where does Emily get those facial expressions?!? What a ham.

This is/was Emily's favorite gesture while saying, "What'sthat?" (Yes, all one word.)

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It's Hot

With America's birthday smack dab in the middle of the week, my husband was off for five days straight... say what!?! We have started on the outside remodel of our little home, and I'm certain it's more work than the inside. Not shocking: it is taking longer than expected and, of course, more money. Good thing Ryan and I like the process as much as the end result, well, most of the time.

Emily is a trooper! It's in the upper 80's, but she buzzed around in the strawberry patch looking for treasures.

Emily also helped her daddy dig up the pipes to a petite and manly bathroom in the garage that broke during an ice storm a few years back.

I am fairly certain these two should be in a parade.

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Our "New Couch"

A leather set was on my wish list... not in our budget. So, with my new summer hours I decided to try my hand at a custom fit slip cover for my husband's couch from his bachelor days. The hunter green, 80's style just kept putting a cramp in my decorating of the living room. Here is the before picture (brace yourself):

I used the tutorials from Honeybear Lane via The Inspired Room to guide my new adventure. It took two weeks of sewing while Emily was sleeping and a lot of patience. I started sewing back in September of last year so everything with this project was new: piping, zippers, and no pattern.

I purchased the coral canvas from Fabric Depot in Portland. I had the help of my super creative and talented sister-in-law, Chelsea. I found the canvas for crazy cheap: 16 yards for $104.00. Whoo hoo!

I plan on making the pillows for the back of the couch once I find more of the coral canvas as I ran out after making the actual slip cover. I bought the current pillows at Home Goods, but I don't love them. I would rather have matching pillows for the back with some coordinating throw pillows. I hope to make it back to Fabric Depot this week to check out the canvas situation. The picture is a bit bright... I promise our couch isn't hot pink!

Here is the after:

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Tuesday Goodness

Emily and I had the whole day to do whatever we wanted. So, we went to Camas Antiques. I'm sure glad we made the trip after dropping off our dry cleaning. I not only found a great table, but also a matching chair. The table is a perfect little home for our new record player that we received from my ma for Christmas. I will post the final view in our home later this week. In the meantime, here are our new accessories courtesy of the designer. Be sure to check out Amanda's blog and space at Camas Antiques.

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I bet you didn't know...

Talking with a group of teenagers can break your heart and mend your soul all at the same time. I am truly humbled.

Check it. 

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I May Need to Make the Trip

My favorite author is making her way to the west coast:

Sunday, February 26, 2012
JCC of San Francisco
11:00a.m.: Onstage interview and signing

I may pee my pants.  

For a seriously great reading experience, pick up anything by Nicole Krauss. (The History of Love will rock your world.)

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A Lovely Poem

Found by a wonderful student, Kelsea! 

Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, 'Speak to us of Children.'

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

-Khalil Gibran

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Greetings!

Every time I have sat down to write a post, I instantly erase it and carry on with other things... like laundry or washing my hair. I swear everything I type seems insignificant. I assume this is because I'm a little "type shy". Well, I'm done with all that nonsense. Read on if you wish to know about a fantastic Christmas get-a-way. It was out of this world.

Picture this: two brothers, their wives, and their two baby girls in a cabin, on the coast, for Christmas weekend.  It was amazing in every way... minus Emily being a bit of a baby about not having her crib. Apparently she is as much of a home body as her parents. Thankfully, our sweet little niece was able to sleep through most of Emily's crying at bed time and random times in the middle of the night.

We ate, lounged, walked on the beach, took pictures, and even played board games. It was seriously rad. I can't wait until we do it again next year!

Maybe with four babies...

Our view from the living room and kitchen:

My favorite view of all:

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Dear Abby

I love my job for so many reasons. I feel seriously blessed to have found a profession that fits me like my favorite jeans. The students are the best part. This past week I was able to assign a great little task courtesy of Abby. Abby sent me an email last Sunday with the following question included:

Shouldn't your best friends, BFF, be someone you admire at least enough to want to be like? Not in the sense that you copy everything they do, but in that you look at who they are and say to yourself, "that's really cool. I want to try and implement that in my life."? Just a thought.

The 9th graders had just finished reading The Chosen. One topic covered in this little jem of a book is friendship. I presented the above question to the students, all 82 of them, and asked them to write Abby back in the form of a letter. They were to answer her question based on their reading and life experience. The responses amazed me. They were so thoughtful and kind. I promptly mailed all 82 letters to Abby that afternoon. I knew that I couldn't talk to Abby for the next three days for fear of spilling the beans! I love using the good old post office.

Abby received the letters and called right away... of course. It was a super writing prompt, but more importantly, it was a reminder to the students, and myself, that one never stops seeking for what it means to be a true friend and to have a true friendship. Thank you, Dear Abby.

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Whom isn't...

I love it when I hear people say, "There's nothing to do". Seriously? Nothing? Especially in the great Northwest, there is always something to do. That being said, we're all busy, however, I was reminded of how great it can be to do nothing- plan nothing. This summer was super busy with numerous weddings, a funeral, and a few out of town guests. We had a great time, but I always love when Fall rolls around and I can do what I love to do without feeling guilty: read, cook cozy meals, and kick it with the family while it rains outside. This Fall is extra amazing due to you know who! She makes everything better. 

I will have another pass time this Fall too- talking on the phone. I usually HATE the phone, however, with my BFF in New York, I have found it's not too bad. I would rather have her here, but at the end of the day, I still get to glean from her wisdom, laugh with her, and have the comfort of knowing there is someone who knows so much about me that I need not explain half of what I'm feeling. It's great to have a good friend whom knows you... really knows you. We had a great 2-hour convo on Saturday that produced many thoughts regarding who you let into your life and how far. I have always kept my little circle small, but with the addition of a little one, it seems I'm even more cautious. This is a blessing and a curse.

I have taken up sewing this year as well. I will reveal my first ever sewing project this week. I gifted the project to my brother and his new wifey on their wedding day. I can't wait to share! 

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Yes Please!

I was recently grocery shopping when I dropped a very large glass bottle of olive oil. Boo hiss. It broke when it hit the concrete floor. Oil and glass shards went everywhere including all over my killer bronze wedge sandals and favorite jeans. I was able to salvage the jeans, but not my standby shoes.

While reading up on one of my favorite blogs, I found these. Do I dare?

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Our little fishy

Ryan and I met while SCUBA diving. Well, not literally. It is still a hobby we share. I can't get enough of the water. I had my first swim at 4 months old. Emily had her's at three months old. We are so proud of her!

Ryan's dad and his wife have a pool that was open and ready to go on the 4th. We swam, laughed, ate, and had an all around great time. We then went to my ma's for a fantastic fireworks show hosted by Mitch. Emily was a tired girl by the time we got home. It was fabulous!

Getting reading to go under...

OK, here we go!

She is so fun

and brave.

Our little family.

Emily laughing at Grandpa Joe. This may be an all time favorite of mine.

I go a little overboard with the sunscreen.

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A Follow-Up

The post titled "Choices" below has generated the most comments and conversation ever on this blog. 28 people opted to have their comments not posted, rather, sent straight to my personal email or my Facebook email. All but one of those comments were from people my age with divorced parents. I was overcome with the responses of people my age trying to navigate their way through adult life with children, spouses, in-laws, holidays, and all the other aspects that make up life while also adding in the difficult piece of having divorced parents.

The post was simply commentary based on my experience with divorce. A lot has happened since my parents divorced almost ten years ago. Shockingly, some things have become easier while other things have not. My dad remarried and has an almost three year old daughter with his wife. My mom is with a wonderful man and they will be married soon as well. To say my life turned out different than I thought it would is an understatement. To say that I'm not happy with how it turned out is a misinterpretation of my words. As with most things in life, the key is to adapt. In my case, it may take a while. However, when I do accept and understand why something has changed or is different than what I expected, I do so with a full heart and no strings attached.

The Choices post started a meaningful conversation. One person wrote " it's a conversation our society desperately needs to have". I did not write the post in haste. For the first time I asked Ryan if he was OK with me posting it since the post referred to his experience as well. My heart if heavy with one response. I deleted the post for an evening, but I felt that it needed to be re-posted with one correction. Holidays are not "the worst". Holidays are difficult. We all work hard to make the holidays special and pleasant. That does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. I believe family dynamics are hard when people do not know exactly where one is coming from. The post Choices comes from a place of trying to understand, deal, and discuss as well as a place of love for my old, new, and growing family.

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Choices

Ryan's parents divorced when he was in 9th grade. Mine separated when I was a Junior in high school. They divorced sometime later... I'm not sure exactly when. Either way, it profoundly changed both of us. It continues to shape our lives everyday. I didn't realize that having divorced parents would be such an issue when we had Emily. Divorce is ugly, sad, and it devastates families. I don't care how people try to sugarcoat it. It sucks. It will suck forever; there is no way around it.  

 

I showed a documentary to my Juniors this last year called: Operation Homecoming; Writing the Wartime Experience.  It's great and available on instant Netflix. A veteran said: "There are some things one should not heal from: a broken home and war." This hit me hard. It hit the students hard as well. Many students wrote about their experience with divorce. It broke my heart. I wonder if parents know/truly understand the impact they are having on their children when they decide to divorce. When they decide to leave. It isn't just an issue of being "happy". It's an issue of stability. The family unit provides stability. That is what children need: stability, love, and consistency. 

 

So, Emily has four sets of grandparents. People say, "More people to love her!". I don't agree. Of course it means more people to love her, but it also means a life that is different for her due to the choices of others. She is lucky to have eight people in the role of grandparent, but it's hard being that Ryan and I grew up with our parents married. It's not as though we had to travel between houses- we each had the traditional family experience for most of our lives. Three of our four parents re-married later.  We don't think of their spouses as "step-parents". It's different. It's a reality I didn't think I would live. I didn't want divorced parents (who does?). I don't want Emily to be afraid that Ryan and I will divorce. I don't want Emily to think that divorce is the norm. I want her to know that we are a family unit. Always. Period.

I'm writing this because I know a lot of people my age are dealing with the same issues we are. Holidays are difficult. How does one decide where to spend Christmas without traveling to four different homes, eating four different Christmas dinners, opening too many gifts, and not hurting anyone's feelings? How does one explain the reality of divorce to a child?

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