You're not a jerk; you're a mama.

>> Sunday, June 5, 2011

Last night was a bit of an earth shaker for me. My good friend, Cinamon, was having a killer birthday celebration. She brought it back old school with roller skating and actual invites delivered by the good old post office. I was set to go with the family. Emily had a sweet outfit fit for a roller rink, my hair was curled, and Ryan had the camera locked and loaded. Emily, however, had different plans.


Sleep was not on Emily's agenda yesterday. So, when she needed to go down at 5:00 PM,  I thought we were golden for leaving at 7. Well, she kept on sleeping. 7:30 rolled around. Still sleeping. I decided that if she was still sleeping at 9 I would just go the party by myself. Ryan was bummed, but he knew how much I wanted to go celebrate Cinamon's birthday. Cinamon is one of those super selfless people who really knows how to make people feel special. I wanted to make sure she knew how special I think she is. But guess who wakes up at 9 on the dot? Yes, Emily! Super. So, I nurse her and am eager to get on with the evening. I decide to wait to see where the after party is because the skating rink is a bit of a drive and would be over by the time I got there at 10. Skating lasted until 10:30. At this time I know Emily will need to eat again at 11. I go the the freezer. No milk. Really. I need to pump so Ryan can feed her. I find out the after party is 45 minutes from our house. Bummer. I can't be gone for more than 2.5 hours, because there isn't any milk stored and Emily will need to eat. This means I would have a whole 30 minutes to show my friend how much she means to me. Lame.

I decide that I should stay home (it's now 11:15 PM). I call Cinamon. I feel like a jerk. Our other friend, Sarahanne, who is there like a good friend, reassures me that all is good. It's late. Ryan grabs a cigar, and I grab a dark brew. I tell Ryan how lame I feel. He reminds me it's 11:30 PM and that we have a two month old baby. He also reminds me that my friends understand that and that I am indeed not a jerk, but a mama. Emily cries. She eats. We sleep. I am slowly embracing this wonderful new life.

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